Impossible

I wrote this awhile ago…found it in the archives of my musings and it just brought an immediate smile to my face, so I felt the need to post it. Going back to my past writings is always a solid confirmation that I’ve grown, I’ve learned, and I know myself better than I sometimes think I do- all good things.

I had pretty much given up hope that anyone would want to date me right around mid senior year of high school. I think the biggest reality check was when I had to ask three guys to prom before someone finally said yes. Needless to say that I had watched enough Disney movies and rom coms by the time I was 18 to ruin me for a lifetime. Granted, I’d waited for a prince all those years and then as a senior, I finally had to take the bull by the horns and save myself if I wanted to have a date to prom.

I finally was asked on a real live date just after I graduated high school. We dated through mid summer when we parted because I was leaving for college. College kind of started everything over for me- I went three years before I found a relationship again. Not from lack of trying, just from lack of experience. And lack of willingness to participate in…age-expected activities, one shall say. I think that’s what ultimately ended their interest the quickest- which tells you the kind of guys I was attracted to. Continue reading

Try. And try and try and try…

Today, I thought I would discuss the importance of persistence- mainly because my personality is an incredibly persistent one. I am, without a doubt, my own most annoying life coach. Being persistent, constantly irrevocably persistent, seems to be a rare trait. Does this make me special? No. I can list numerous rare traits that I do not possess.
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Who Am I?

I was once told that we are most like the 5 people we surround ourselves with most. As someone whose main “strength” in life is her empathy, I’m sure you can imagine why this was so interesting to me.

I find that I often feed off of people’s emotions. I’m a fairly happy person 9 out of 10 days. Everyone gets frustrated or sad or lonely or pissed off, so let’s not pretend like that doesn’t happen to me. All in all, though, I’d say I’m a fairly upbeat person with fairly lofty life goals and I really like other happy people because they make me the happiest. I would say I keep a fairly good head under pressure or when friends of mine get upset, but I find that if “upset” is just someone’s general personality, I can’t handle it. I can’t handle daily negativity, daily sadness, daily complaints, or daily anger. I also can’t handle drama which seems to contain all of the above.
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Fear

“What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do.”

I pulled this quote from “The 4-Hour Workweek” by Timothy Ferriss, a book I got as a Christmas gift from one of my Top 5, but that’s an entirely different post.

In a nutshell, the book slowly uncovers the secrets of the “New Rich.” The goal of this book is not to tell you how to become a multi-billionaire like say- the creators of Facebook, Youtube, and Instagram- although if you did, that would be a pretty sweet perk from reading a book that cost me nothing. Instead, the book aims to be a compass for those who are sick and tired of the 40-50 hour work week, day in and day out, minding the daily drudgery that is your cubicle.
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Who Runs the World? Girls.

I was very anti female relationships for a number of years. As many of us often are, I was the brunt of many bad jokes when I was younger, the majority of the taunting coming from my female peers. By the time I hit high school and college, I was incredibly cautious about the women that I let into my life. I gravitated towards men for friendships when I could. Men were far less complicated. My guy friends didn’t care how I looked or acted or spoke. I wasn’t judged for how much I ate or for how much or little I said. I am lucky that this same group of guys is still in my life 10 years later with an addition here or there and I love them all just as much now as I did back when we used to make really lame theater jokes and our idea of a “cool” night out was grabbing a late dinner and being out past curfew (because our parents said we could.) Continue reading

Doing Good

Recent events have made me begin to do a little self reflection. I suppose it is only natural when crazy things happen that you begin to wonder “what if that had been me?” The shooting in Connecticut has taken the nation by storm. Understandably so- 7 adults plus 20 children (all 6 or younger) have been killed. I can’t help but focus on one…Victoria Soto. She was 27 years old, same as me, and while her story is still unfolding, it seems as though she saved the lives of her students by hiding them in closets and cupboards, then telling the gunman they were in another room of the school. Then, she was killed.
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The Strength of a Good Start

I find that it generally takes a lot of strength to start something and to end something. There are always going to be ups and downs in between the beginning and the end, but the piece that always seems to give me the most hesitation is beginning and knowing when to just say “I did my best.”
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