That beautiful word known as “failure”

Last week was horrendous. Felt like I was failing everything I bothered to touch. That little voice in my head wasn’t helping matters:

Failure.
You fail at everything.
You’re never going to make it in this business.
You don’t know anything ABOUT business.
You had to take economics twice.
Being creative will get you nowhere- that isn’t a business concept.
Moron.
Wrap it up- stay in your cubicle.
You just don’t have what it takes, kid.

Sleep comes in spurts anymore, usually interrupted by that incredibly rude, condescending voice that never seems to appear to anyone other than myself. It usually likes to prod me out of my dreams around 4am- a very unfortunate time if you ask me. Farmers aren’t even awake that early…are they?

I try to counter the voice- tell it to go away. Mention things I’ve succeeded at in an effort to prove that I AM on a good path. Sometimes there are tears. Sometimes I just get really angry at the voice. Sometimes I agree with the voice just to make it shut up and let me sleep.

I think everyone has that “you can’t” voice in your head- the one that reminds you that you are stupid/ugly/fat/failed/unlovable/etc. no matter how many positives filter their way in to your day. However, I think it’s a matter of how you counter this voice- do you absorb what it says to you and quit? Do you use what it says to bring you down to simply fuel your fire?

This is pretty much the fork in the road I’d hit last week…I’ve hit a rough patch in my business for a variety of reasons. There are bound to be more in my future if I keep doing what I’m doing- in fact, it’s a guarantee. So, should I lay off and go back to what I know because that’s the easy path- the path that actually affords my monthly bills? Or do I forge ahead and ultimately, prove that little voice inside my head wrong?

That’s the bottom line folks- as long as you keep going that voice is proven wrong on some level or another. You will fail along your continued path, but as long as you keep at it, that voice never wins.

Granted, sometimes it’s easy to fall to that voice. Sometimes it is just going to be easier for you to give up.

Still, that doesn’t sound like much fun, in my opinion.

What do you think?

Myself personally…I’m going to keep going for failure and misery- I’d rather feel negative emotions than feel nothing at all. Eventually, those emotions are going to turn into more happiness than I can fathom. Call me a glass is half full kind of girl.

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6 Comments

  1. Pingback: Grabbing Life by the Ba- urm- Horns! | Journey Versus Destination

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